From a Hawaiian Island to a New York Island, and Back

Noa Santos first laid eyes on Ross Matsubara about eight years in the past on Halloween. Drained from a protracted day at his interior-design job, Mr. Santos had determined to forgo his Little Mermaid costume and partying, and keep dwelling and eat Thai meals in his pajamas.

He began perusing pals’ photograph albums on Fb and observed an image of Mr. Matsubara. “I acquired so deep in clicking,” Mr. Santos mentioned. “I used to be positively stalking scorching individuals. I’m not good at going as much as somebody in a bar, however on-line I’m like a prowler.”

Mr. Santos was stunned to find that each he and Mr. Matsubara had been from the Hawaiian island of Oahu and had been now dwelling in Manhattan. He wrote Mr. Matsubara a Fb message, asking if he wished to satisfy for espresso. Mr. Matsubara responded, “I don’t do espresso, I do drinks.”

Though the 2 had many issues in widespread, there was a powerful likelihood they may not get alongside.

For starters, they attended rival excessive colleges. Mr. Santos, 30, who’s the founder and chief govt of Homepolish, an inside design start-up, went to the academically oriented Iolani. He carried so many books, he wanted a rolling backpack to stop damage to his again. Mr. Santos was elected senior class president after promising to get cushions for the concrete benches within the library.

Mr. Matsubara, 33, who’s a vice chairman and elegance director at Nike Communications and handles accounts for high-profile shoppers like Moet Champagne and Bombay Sapphire gin, attended Punahou. The varsity had two well-known alumni: former President Barack Obama and Steve Case, the previous chief govt of AOL. Mr. Matsubara was a member of the varsity kayak staff. “I didn’t get the most effective grades,” he mentioned. “I threw the events.”

Even their households had been totally different. Mr. Santos, whose father is Portuguese, grew up in a big compound on the coast. His great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts and uncles all lived on the land together with tons of of chickens, canines and chameleons. As a baby, he was usually barefoot, roasting pigs on the seaside for dinner.

Mr. Matsubara, who’s Japanese-American, grew up in Honolulu in a extra formal family. His father is a distinguished lawyer who owns his agency. “He’s very esteemed,” Mr. Santos mentioned. “Let’s simply say he’s way more accustomed to formal put on.”

Nonetheless, on their first date, in November 2010 on the Rusty Knot, a nautical-themed bar within the West Village of Manhattan, they stayed till closing. Two days later they meandered down Fifth Avenue to absorb the vacation lights. Inside a month they had been utilizing the time period “boyfriend”; shortly after, they mentioned, “I like you.”

Mr. Matsubara was so taken along with his new beau that he informed his mother and father about him over Christmas, an enormous feat contemplating he hadn’t even revealed he was homosexual. “I used to be watching, ‘It’s Sophisticated’ with Meryl Streep and Steve Martin with my mother, and I used to be texting on the sofa,” he mentioned. “When she requested who I stored texting, I mentioned, ‘It’s my boyfriend.’”

On their subsequent journey dwelling to Hawaii they introduced their mother and father collectively. Regardless of the persona variations, they stayed up till the early hours of the morning consuming sake, consuming dinner and sharing tales. The 2 males had been amazed by how effectively their households acquired alongside; they attribute it to the truth that each households had been in Hawaii for greater than 4 generations.

Now, even when their sons aren’t visiting, their mother and father drive greater than an hour to one another to drop off presents of knitted gadgets or avocados and papayas.

Mr. Santos proposed in Paris over Memorial Day weekend in 2016. He had informed his boyfriend that they had been there on a piece journey and shocked him when he knelt down in entrance of a Dior flagship, Mr. Matsubara’s favourite retailer, with three rings: two from Tiffany and one from Cartier. What he mentioned summed up their relationship: “With out you I’m like a coloring ebook with no coloration. I’m the construction, however you’re the coloration.”

Mr. Matsubara’s mom, Arlene Matsubara, mentioned the couple enhances one another, with Mr. Santos being the targeted, accountable one and her son being the playful, social counterpart. She remembered early of their relationship when her son was consuming a slice of papaya and introduced he was completed earlier than it was all gone. Mr. Santos made him end it. It was a powerful instance of “mottainai,” a perception with Japanese roots that you shouldn’t waste. “It simply hit me in my coronary heart,” Ms. Matsubara mentioned.

The couple spent a yr planning the marriage of their goals. They knew it needed to be of their dwelling state. “Our New York pals stored saying, We are able to’t wait to come back to Hawaii on your marriage ceremony,” Mr. Matsubara mentioned.

They selected the Haiku Mill, a 19th-century sugar cane manufacturing facility in a jungle on the north shore of Maui. It has 150-year-old ruins, French décor, manicured gardens, even a towering mango tree greater than 100 years outdated that gives a pure cover.

Kimiko Hosaki, the occasion organizer (whom the couple calls the love of their lives), mentioned she had by no means seen shoppers dive into their marriage ceremony with such ardour or precision. “Working in locations like Hawaii, you usually have shoppers that wish to mimic occasions that you simply’ve completed up to now,” she mentioned. “It was so energizing to have the ability to work with shoppers that had no real interest in doing something anybody had completed earlier than.”

They styled their ceremony, held on June 8, like a trend present, going through friends’ chairs towards the aisle within the middle and having their marriage ceremony social gathering act like fashions. “Ross wished us to be bosses, to be highly effective and assured,” mentioned Alicianne Rand, Mr. Matsubara’s childhood pal and maid of honor. “None of us are runway fashions, however we did this for Ross.”

Mr. Matsubara’s highschool senior promenade date, April Jade Hail, who was ordained by the American Marriage Ministries, served because the officiant. (“She was six months pregnant,” he mentioned. “The epitome of magnificence.”)

The reception was impressed by the 1998 film “Nice Expectations,” starring Gwyneth Paltrow. The couple even inspired feminine friends to put on inexperienced so the social gathering would seem like the inexperienced shades within the film. “All of them had their robes authorised by Ross,” Mr. Santos mentioned, laughing. “I feel they had been terrified of him.”

There have been additionally native touches. For the welcome cocktail social gathering, Mr. Santos’s father, Alvin Santos, marinated 9 kilos of pork introduced over on the 40-minute flight from Oahu. Ms. Matsubara and a pal made 90 floral bracelets for friends that includes a uncommon inexperienced flower from the ohia lehua tree. Two of the couple’s pals additionally carried out a standard Hawaiian hula dance, referred to as Ka Uluwehi O Ke Kai, which is commonly danced at events.

For these newlyweds, Hawaii isn’t solely their dwelling, but in addition the place they really feel most secure and beloved. “The great half about being from Hawaii is it means we are able to do something in life,” Mr. Santos mentioned. “What’s the worst that may occur? My household lives on the sting of the seaside. We simply transfer again to the place individuals dream of retiring.”

Bao Ong contributed reporting from Maui.


When June 8, 2018.

The place Haiku Mill, on the north shore of Maui in Hawaii.

Trend First 5 of the attendants, whom Mr. Matsubara referred to as his “warriors,” had been wearing ivory-colored energy fits by Idea. Edward Barsamian, a mode editor at and an in depth pal of the couple, donned a Victoria Beckham jumpsuit. The couple wore tuxedos by David Hart and every had the opposite’s initials monogrammed in hunter inexperienced on the cuffs of their shirts.

Hawaiian Roots Haiku Mill, a former sugar mill, served as the proper website, partially as a result of it’s in Hawaii, the place household might simply attend. Mr. Matsubara’s mom made 90 bracelets with liko lehua, a flower from the ohia lehua tree sourced from the Huge Island.

Let Them Eat Malasadas The couple is adamant that “we’re not cake individuals.” As an alternative, desserts included malasadas, a Portuguese-style doughnut standard in Hawaii.

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A model of this text seems in print on , on Web page ST10 of the New York version with the headline: Rising Up in Oahu, Connecting 5,000 Miles Later. Order Reprints | In the present day’s Paper | Subscribe

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